-”Do not date DJs”-They were losers in junior high. They want hot boring girls, that would not have given them the time of day in high school. They initially are attracted to you in you designer dress because you are handing them wads of cash. They think they want to fuck you. They may once. In the end they want a girl who doesn’t judge them for playing their Um-ber-ella remix twice. They want a girl who totally just went to the Rihanna concert, like in a bra top, with a belly ring.
-”LA will never make you famous”-No one cares how many times your picture has been on the Cobrasnake. There is no section for that on a resume. Unless, you are a DJ or aspiring CW star leave LA now.
-”Once you have lived in LA you will never live anywhere normal again”-Try moving to Philadelphia. Seriously try it. You will want to die.
-”Do nothing for free”-If people “need” you to do things, they are things that make them money. They are asking you to do these things so they make MORE money. They are asking you to do things for free because they are cheap assholes and are using you. Oh and btw “Intern” is just another word for slave.
-”Girls look cute in glasses”-My eyes are getting worse and I am wearing my glasses more and more. I have been debating about contacts, but due to the fact I lose/break everything this seems like something that does not fit my “lifestyle.” Everytime I forget to take them off and walk in somewhere with them on, some boy tells me how cute I look in glasses. (This does not pertain to you weirdos in glasses with no lenses k thx)
-”Pills are boring”-I snort every pill I take, regardless of how classy I have appeared to become. Snort it. It is way more fun.
-”Edie Sedgwick died at 28″-I was under the presumption it was much earlier. So get it together girls. Wednesday morning photos on the Cobrasnake won’t pay your rent.
And for the love of god never make out with the DJ.
xoxo gossip girl
