LOLLERSKATES

Collegian.com – Penn State Police confirmed yesterday that they have filed charges against Nittany Lions basketball player Stanley Pringle in an incident involving public masturbation that occurred last Thursday in Pattee Library. Police said Pringle, the team’s point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested.

Wow dude. Impressive. The best part is that homedude was probably that big of a baller in his small town in high school. That he could just jerk off wherever he wanted on some varsity blues shit and everyone was like “ohhh just let him jerk, it’s Stanley PRINGLE for christs sake!” Too bad this year you didnt even make the NIT so your whole master jerking plan went sour.

whoa.

I just wrote that, I really did.