I’m back at JFK airport. Good thing these wifi connections are 24 hrs worth. Really coming in handy right now. We all had to rebook our flight for this morning because weather fucked up our flight for last night.

Anyways i’m catching up on my internetz and this is cool.

Photographs of phone sex operators and their stories.

So basically there is this AP article out about these uncontacted tribes all over the world. Anywho some genius decided to fuck their whole world up and fly over in a plane while taking pictures… First of all, do you know how loud planes must sound to these indigenous peoples, and a huge metal flying bird roaring overhead must have been the scariest shit of their lives. Also these people are whole different colors, one time my sister only ate carrots and drank carrot juice for like 2 weeks and her hands started turning orange but these people are bright orange. I’m confused, but not really because that’s basically the same color Encino Man was when he first popped out of that hole in the backyard.

I have been up for 24 hours straight at this exact moment.

Wanna see streaming video of what I look like. Click Here

LOLLERSKATES

Collegian.com – Penn State Police confirmed yesterday that they have filed charges against Nittany Lions basketball player Stanley Pringle in an incident involving public masturbation that occurred last Thursday in Pattee Library. Police said Pringle, the team’s point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested.

Wow dude. Impressive. The best part is that homedude was probably that big of a baller in his small town in high school. That he could just jerk off wherever he wanted on some varsity blues shit and everyone was like “ohhh just let him jerk, it’s Stanley PRINGLE for christs sake!” Too bad this year you didnt even make the NIT so your whole master jerking plan went sour.

whoa.

I just wrote that, I really did.

This is fucking crazy. The chinese are so next level they are controlling the weather to prevent it from raining during the Olympics. Come on really, am I watching captain planet, or GI Joe or something where some super villain makes a weather machine.

EPIC. 1 point china.

Clip of story below full story here

To prevent rain over the roofless 91,000-seat Olympic stadium that Beijing natives have nicknamed the Bird’s Nest, the city’s branch of the national Weather Modification Office–itself a department of the larger China Meteorological Administration–has prepared a three-stage program for the 2008 Olympics this August.

First, Beijing’s Weather Modification Office will track the region’s weather via satellites, planes, radar, and an IBM p575 supercomputer, purchased from Big Blue last year, that executes 9.8 trillion floating point operations per second. It models an area of 44,000 square kilometers (17,000 square miles) accurately enough to generate hourly forecasts for each kilometer.

Then, using their two aircraft and an array of twenty artillery and rocket-launch sites around Beijing, the city’s weather engineers will shoot and spray silver iodide and dry ice into incoming clouds that are still far enough away that their rain can be flushed out before they reach the stadium.

Finally, any rain-heavy clouds that near the Bird’s Nest will be seeded with chemicals to shrink droplets so that rain won’t fall until those clouds have passed over. Zhang Qian, head of Beijing’s Weather Modification Office, explains, “We use a coolant made from liquid nitrogen to increase the number of droplets while decreasing their average size. As a result, the smaller droplets are less likely to fall, and precipitation can be reduced.” August is part of Northeast Asia’s rainy season; chances of precipitation over Beijing on any day that month will approach 50 percent. Still, while tests with clouds bearing heavy rain loads haven’t always been successful, Qian claims that “the results with light rain have been satisfactory.”

First. SxSw was insane. Like crazy. Like a lot of work, and a lot of fun and a lot of Random moments.

Highlights:

+ Maggie Horn and I slumber Party
+ Bushwick Bill Crashing our Show and rapping over Southern Hospitality with Shwayze
+ Blu Jemz squabbing with the owner of “The Marq” who also happens to be one of the “Bachelors” from the show the “Bachelor” haha
+ Blu Jemz getting in a squab cuz he (unaware of any bachelor show) says “I don’t want to fight you, i saw you on Elimidate”
+ Linking up with Bo Bliz and Emil
+ Diplo playing some Bmore edit of Steve Angello LBL – “Be”
+ Nick Catchdubs rocking at IHC.
+ The Whip @ Dim Mak House sounded great
+ Neon Neon @ Dim Mak Sounded Great
+ Dan from Does it offend you yeah? Giving me the advance copy of his LP. (INCREDIBLE BTW)
+ Cisco, Me and Shwayze being awesome mechanical bull riders
+ Joe Simpson (Of birthing ashlee and jessica fame) Being one of the COOLEST PEOPLE EVER. No bullshit amazing
+ Katy Perry Rocking Perez Party like a pro.
+ N.E.R.D. has 2 drummers a track, metal amps, and is the heaviest show i’ve seen since converge last year.
+ The four seasons burgers at 3am so on point.

anyways back to reality. i’m in Salt Lake City, tomorrow i got to Acapulco to play weds/thurs then fri/saturday i play dallas and houston.

This is some hilarious shit. Myspace movie about a murder rave?

This is gnarly.

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WICHITA | A 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

Authorities planned to present their report to the county attorney later Wednesday to see if any charges should be filed against her 36-year-old boyfriend, Whipple said.

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding he never explained why it took him two years to call.

He said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water during the two years and told investigators he asked her daily to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,’” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

The house had another bathroom he could use.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh as if she was using the toilet. Her legs looked like they had atrophied, he said.

“She was sitting on the toilet and was somewhat disoriented,” Whipple said. “She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave.”

So cisco and I were supposed to leave yesterday at 7:40am on Virgin… time change, going out, and blackout curtains put an end to that idea real quick. So luckily we were able to reschedule for today at 9:30am, I woke up at 8:40 and we’re in midtown fuck fuck fuck.

It’s kind of incredible because I slept through the unfadeable blackberry alarm which never lets me down. I even skipped Beatrice last night so i’d definitely get up and go back. And we were flying the best airline ever VIRGIN AMERICA so how i fucked this one up twice i’ll never know. Anyways now we’ll probably just fly straight to texas and hope everything works out at sxsw. Shit Shit Shit, I guess NYC just doesn’t want us to leave.

whateverzzz all i’m thinking right now is…

Cause God blessed Texas with His own hand
Brought down angels from the promised land
Gave ‘em a place where they could dance
If you wanna see heaven brother here’s your chance
I’ve been sent to spread the message
God blessed Texas